Rank amateur

During my quest for knowledge about wedding cakes, I discovered that my bookshelf was sorely lacking: somehow I had entirely missed the Cake Bible by Rose Levy Beranbaum. I have since remedied this but continue to scour the library bookshelves to make sure I haven’t somehow overlooked any other painfully obvious title. And last week, there it was: One of the 10 indispensable works for serious cooks: The Professional Chef, brought to us by none other than the Culinary Institute of America. A hefty copper-colored tome, the 8^th edition is weightier than my Larousse de Cuisine (both English and French editions) and has more detailed illustrations than Julia and Simone’s Mastering the Art (Volumes I and II). I dove in with great anticipation.

And yet, I must admit some disappointment. Yes, it really does tell me how to slice carrots a gazillion different ways, but this is overshadowed by a couple of items I just cannot ignore.

On the way home from the library, Darling Husband, riding shotgun, opens the book to European cuisines, and finds the section on Southern Germany, his personal Vaterland. He reads out loud, “The states of Bavaria, Baden, and Alsace-Lorraine comprise Southern Germany.” What?! My husband looks in disbelief and continues, “The cuisine of Bavaria, which is located in southeast Germany, is influenced by its proximity to Austria and the cuisine of Alsace-Lorraine, which is located in southwest Germany has been influenced by its proximity to France.” The last time we were there (a few weeks ago), Alsace was in France. And my young self once made the mistake of referring to Alsace-Lorraine as one region. I was quickly corrected by my Nancy-born French prof: They are two distinct regions, and referring to them in the same breath is us as offensive to natives as saying there’s no difference between someone from Los Angeles and Seattle—they’re both on the West Coast, right? Puzzled, we delve into their encapsulated history of Southern Germany, and read their summation: “Germany reacquired Alsace and Lorraine after defeating France on the Battlefield in 1871. Wilhelm I, who had been King of Prussia, was installed as the first German Kaiser, which effectively united Germany under one rule.”

Which explains everything: this part of this 2006 book hasn’t been updated since Germany had a king, and doesn’t reflect the fact that Alsace and Lorraine were returned to France after World War I. It also has other geographical issues, like Baden (a city in Switzerland) is not a state, as is Baden-Wurttemberg. It turns out that the entire section on Germany is in dire need of editing: “Major cities in central Germany include Frankfurt, Dresden and Westphalia.” (Westphalia is a region, not a city.) Further reading introduces us to such great misnomers as Spaztel for Spätzle and schwartzwalder kirschtorte for Schwarzwälderkirschtorte. Mysteriously, only the German entries seem to suffer this affliction of ignorance; the rest of Europe has kept up.

Interested to see if I can learn anything that might be of interest for our upcoming annual couscous feast, I flip through the world cuisines section, only to find there is no entry whatsoever for Africa: the closest I can find is Middle Eastern, with Persian and Iranian selected as representative.

I scan the section on Chinese cuisine, and am taken aback by a sidebar on MSG (Monosodium Glutamate) that informs me that the substance was first isolated in 1908, by a Japanese scientist who dubbed it as having its own flavor, namely, umami. There is, unfortunately, no recognition of the fact that it is an ingredient that many avoid for various reasons, not the least of which is their health. Indeed, none of the Culinary Institute’s ample prose deals with the issue of allergens at all, including avoiding allergen cross-contamination.

This volume is well-known for its photos: lots and lots of color pictures, illustrating all the techniques discussed. But I am alarmed by the number of fingers and hands that are covered in obviously latex gloves. Conventional wisdom in our post-AIDS society dictates that food must be handled with single-use gloves, but no illustration, nor text covering food safety, mentions that using latex gloves can pose a hidden and life-threatening hazard to some restaurant patrons. With latex intolerance affecting 1-6 percent of the population, and the fact that for some, exposure can be fatal, it seems to this reader that the leading culinary training body in the country would set an example. It is falling to states to begin legislating against the use of latex gloves in food preparation. And vinyl isn’t much better, as they contain known carcinogens and hormone disrupters—the same ingredients that led to the ban of their use for baby toys destined for mouthing. And in truth, our food is no safer than before gloves came into widespread use, as it appears that workers often don’t change gloves at all during their shift, operating cash registers and wiping their nose in the interim. And so we come full circle: some health experts are now saying that regular hand washing would be more effective than glove use.

Which all means that I don’t see The Professional Chef as essential for my shelf. I’ll retain my amateur status, even if it does mean handling food with my bare – but washed – hands.