Be nice

It has been a long weekend. Dear Husband and I attended a Gottman Relationship workshop, farming the kids out to various people to whom we are now eternally indebted. This morning, as I cleaned up the kitchen, which was a repository for stuff rather than a center of food preparation this weekend, I reflected on just what and how we had eaten.

Breakfasts were fairly normal, like a regular weekday; Sunday pancakes were replaced by blueberry muffins baked the day before and brought to family #2 in a wicker basket as both fodder for our boys and an attempt to show appreciation. (I also popped a couple into my bag: the ample workshop refreshments were all predictably wheat-based.)

Dinner was a guilt trip for me: poor planning on my part meant that the first night, Ersatz Mom had to come up with something from my nearly-empty fridge. She did amazingly well, throwing together some red sauce and spaghetti. My boys were fed and happy, as were we. Sunday evening, our kids were delivered to us in Seattle, so we walked over to a pub on Queen Anne, and stuffed our faces with insanely huge portions of fried foods.

Lunch, however, was something else. The Gottman folks gave us 1 1/2 hour breaks for lunch on both days, and since we were in Seattle, we were surrounded by all sorts of possibilities, from the Space Needle to a myriad of Thai restaurants. You would think that catching a bite on a deadline wouldn't nourish the soul much, but the opposite was true. Both days we headed to an upscale supermarket, where my better half could indulge his love of chili and I could nibble on salady things. We also picked up some fine wine and chocolate (we nibbled on one but refrained from sipping the other for the afternoon sessions), and had time to chat, browse the record store and just stroll. For us, it was rare luxury to spend unstructured time together. It's something we make far too little of in the hustle of parenting.

The workshop taught some powerful lessons, not the least of which is to be nice to each other. Not coincidentally, that was the sole advice offered by my usually reticent father-in-law on our wedding day. Being nice to each other, lots of small things everyday, add up to a happy life. The everyday is more important than the occasional. We talk, we eat, we kiss everyday. So talk nice to your someone today, and by all means, eat with them.